Friday, March 23, 2012;
♥ 8:38 AM
Feeling a little moody today. There seems to be a lot going on in my mind.
A good friend of mine had her graduation ceremony today. Just as i was browsing through google images to look for a nice grad picture to wish her happy graduation, i just occurred to me it'll actually be my turn soon in a couple of months. And looking through all the images, i was just thinking, would my graduation be like all those seen in the pictures? i don't know, i don't even know who else is graduating with me, most of my friends aren't graduating yet. I always pictured my graduation like those seen in movies and pictures. Attending graduation ceremony with my friends, wearing the gown and the hat together, taking photos together, throwing the grad hat together, and even going on grad trip together. But none of these seem possible, cos they're all not graduating yet. Will i be throwing the graduation hat alone? That's a really sad thought ): My one and only console would be that they'll come and congratulate me.
I don't know why i'm so bothered by it, maybe cos i'll be graduating at the same time as my brother - and he'll have the most ideal graduation. Graduating as a med student, with a whole class of people who went through thick and thin with him, the same group of people whom he spent the last 5 yrs with. It does make a whole lot of difference. I'm really really proud of him, and I would really like to go attend and witness his graduation, but don't even know if i can cos each student is entitled to a maximum of 3 seats? And uncle says he's gonna come over to watch him grad, so i don't know, i might pretty well be waiting outside to take photos.
Then what next? I really don't know. With a Bachelor, there's pretty much nowhere i can choose. Being a a research office would be my best bet. At first, i was thinking even if its research work, it gives me experience in the relevant field, and i can pursue masters after 2 yrs or something. At least that's what i was thinking all along. But today it just struck me, do i really want to do Masters? Cos i know i'm really not a academics person, I'll never get As, Bs are the best i could get. And if i don't intend to do Masters anymore, why should i still settle for a research officer? Can i just find something that i really enjoy doing? I know i like interacting with people, with youths, with kids. I think i like events management, or like bridal arrangements, or what about a tour guide? Cos i really love travelling, i really want to travel to all parts of the world, i want to stay in each place for a couple of months to experience the place.
Or should i just join MOE, since it seems like the perfect job for me since its a lot of interaction with people and kids. I don't know, is that really for me? Or am i just denying it cos i keep telling myself that I don't want it to be my first job cos I want to do smth else that I really want to do first? Yes i still would really want to work at the airport, i've applied for a couple of positions, but have yet to heard from them. I don't know if that will ultimately be the place for me, but for now, at least i know that i want to work in the aviation industry.
Sigh its gonna be such a long road down, and the beginning has barely even started....
the voice of truth
tells me a different story
the voice of truth says
'do not be afraid'