Friday, July 30, 2010;
♥ 4:42 AM
the sweetest things in life for me i wld say...is being remembered and appreciated and knowing that. i always believe in expressing myself whenever i appreciate somethings or someone. cos if you really do, you have let the other party know, cos there's really no point in just keeping it to yourself. if you're really missing someone, just say it, if you're really grateful to someone, just say it. cos you may never know wht might happen, you may never have the chance to say it, or the other person may never have the chance to hear it/know it.
bestie msged me tdy, and her msg kinda caught me by surprise. cos it was kinda random, but its smth i've been waiting for, for a very long time. just as when i thought she's busy with all her stuff, she took the time to send me tht msg. i feel so loved, makes everything worthwhile. love you too bestie! i'm sure we'll go a long way down (:
and i love the way he msgs me once in a while to see how im doing and just to catch up, esp when life is just getting kinda dull & boring, and esp when im just abt to msg him too, his msg comes first and catches me by surprise. i love the fact tht we're still in contact and tht he rmbs stuff abt me, and stuff abt us. it feels like we've been friends forever. thou we never talk on the phone, we hardly meet, and dont sms like every single day, bt i know tht whenever i send a msg, he'll be on the other end to reply, it may not be instant, it may take a few hrs, bt i know tht he's always there.
and im so proud of myself tdy cos i made a cheesecake all by myself! thou its yet to be tasted and tested, and there were some screw ups here and there, bt it sure does look awesome. bt think i took bloody hell long, much longer than expected. crushing the oreo was damn hell tiring, and most time consuming. but the outcome was good. it was awesomely nice and everyone loved it! (or at least thts wht they told me) haha. im happy and satisfied (:
thks ml for accompanying me all the way from raffles to PS. you're really an awesome friend (:
thks cw for always sending me home! (:
can airplanes in the night sky
be like shooting stars?
the voice of truth
tells me a different story
the voice of truth says
'do not be afraid'
Friday, July 23, 2010;
♥ 1:59 AM
i dno where to start cos there's simply too much thoughts that i wanna pen down this very day. dont ask me why. bt smth just got me started thinking and reflecting about the past academic year.
Yes in a blink of an eye. Year 1 just zoomed past. thou it felt like 2 years cos of the 2 different sems, with different mods and different friends. but overall, i guess Year 1 was fruitful and peaceful. i rmb starting off the year joining camps with tiffany. Rovers, Union, Windsurf. Many friendships were forged, memorable ones. and despite a year later, we all came back together (well some of us) and joined the same camp, somehow memories just pulled us back together like instant super gule. but this time as seniors, as councillors. it sure felt very different being a freshie compared to a councillor. but nonetheless, the fun was definitely still there. bt i guess the fun element is kinda different, and the whole experience is just kinda different too. As a freshie, i think i enjoyed making new friends, meeting people from everywhere. But as a senior, its not that much abt making new friends, but more of just having the time of my life with the same grp of ppl, and really just going crazy. But of course i did make new friends too, esp my own UC OG councillors. initially i was so doubtful of the grp cos i didnt know the majority of them, and they were all from the same fac. but nah thts not the issue. i think they're really really nice ppl, awesome friends (:
somehow my closest grp of friends arent from arts. i wonder why. prolly not fated, no chemistry. sometimes trying too hard just backfires on you. bt im so glad i found jer. she's like my BFF in sem2, cos we take 3 mods tgt and having a dozen of common friends. she's superbly nice. love her ttm. thks for always being there for me and helping me out with my studies, mugging with me, and bitching tgt abt how life sucks and how screwed we are for the assignments/exams. im also glad i have my soc mates there. esp jiayu & minli. i really miss the times gg to stats with jy and getting lost tgt in the lect abt wht the lecturer was saying and not-paying attention tgt cos we're always playing with the iphone. then after stats, the soc peeps will always go to the atas toilet to change for trg. also miss the times talking abt how hot/cute our tutor is. thks for the encouragement to carry on by making things sound so easy whenever i felt im losing it. and to ml too, i've got your back and you've got mine. thks for always listening to me when im so sian of sch, and i miss those times waiting for A1 with you after trg cos all the rest take from the other bustop. and thks for sharing the love for french with me (:
sem 2 was a kinda crazy sem. i tried mugging hard, staying in sch till late to mug. esp jy, we can still mug tgt! and i was really sad when she couldnt make it to psych ): i was hoping to be psych buddies with her. hope jer will take french 2 and we can be BFF for the nxt sem again! feels damn sad to see this batch of soc seniors graduating. gna miss their crappy-ness, lame-ness, all the laughters, the bitching and the sit-down-and-lax-times. thks yinhong, yunxiu, xiaoyuen, thiviya, karen, dora, sarah, isty for everything. and thru them i've made some really awesome ex-soc peeps too like cj atiqah, nissa. really fun and funny bunch (:
and to windsurf. dno how i got myself into the comm, bt it was a wonderful and pleasant journey with yall. windsurf ppl are really lovely and nice ppl. its a very close grp of us. really, they're the ppl i'll nv wanna leave and forget. so i'll prolly still hang ard.....haha.
next is australia. the country i've always wanted to go since young to visit my uncle, bt i nv got to go till now. its really an awesome and beautiful country. i love the freedom and carefree-ness there. i love my uncle, i love my aunt, i love my cousins there, they're just lovely ppl. they're nth more i cld ask for. i admired the beauty of the scenaries in awe, and praised the lord for his amazing and magnificent creations. it was really just breath-taking. be it melbourne, sydney, brisbane, gold coast. i kinda enjoyed traveling alone, in those short 2-3 days in melbourne. just walking down the streets, roaming ard, nt really knowing where to head, bt just wanna explore every single part of it. its coupled with uncertainties and excitement. and i feel so proud of myself, i actually managed to find my way thru the place, thou i may have took longer cuts and walked extra miles at times, bt its all worth it when i reached the destination. i thank my mum for allowing me to venture out on my own, aka being in a new place, new country, new city alone. think this has more or less reassured her of my ability to take care of myself. cos many ppl were actually surprised that i stayed in melbourne for a couple of days on my own, surprised that my mum actually dared to leave me there alone. think it all begins with the willingness to let go, guess its just part-and-parcel of growing up. bt guess on my part, i shld call back or text back at least day & night to reassure mum that im safe, im cool. cos usually i just wait for her to call. think thts smth i have to change.
then nxt was TAIWAN! with my lovely 4h buddies. jt, wz, jh, tiff, sm. i apologise on my part that i didnt plan and contribute much cos i was kinda sian and tired of planning and stuff cos i did all tht for australia. so i had a bit of the cant-be-bothered attitude. plus the chinese in the web and stuff annoys me a whole lot. think we're a bunch that will go a long way, long long way. lets just keep our fingers crossed that it really does. cos i nv once failed to laugh my heart out every single day. and yeah i share sm's sentiments. i have nv laughed so hard in my life in a long long while. i pretty much forgot when was the last time i did. definitely not during sch term, i wonder if tht will ever happen. prolly in sec4? tht sounds kinda pathetic, but yeah. okay maybe i did. rather i shld change my choice of vocab. i have nv laughed so hard and carefreely in a long while, ever since J1. and i actually miss quite a lot of ppl, a lot of which i havent seen in a very long time, very very long time. but somehow, i think smth felt werid thru'out the trip. i cant exactly say wht it is cos i dno wht exactly it is in the first place. bt somehow, certain stuff just felt weird, and maybe awkward? i dno if theres anything gg at all, or am i just making these all up and hallucinating. there seems to be, bt no one wants to clarify, and so i just might as well act as if nth happened and just act blur abt it. yeah maybe i shld, cos sometimes ignorance is bliss. sometimes somethings are really better left the way it is, cos focusing on the details may spoil the pretty picture thts painted. we used to be gd friends, bt wht happened to it all now? i dont wna fool myself by pretending everything is okay. i know everything is not okay, and you know, we know it. bt we're just letting things stay the way it is, well you reckon its better this way? is it really better? c'mon im nt hoping for anything more, i just want things how it used to be.
REGRETS. have been having a lot of fun with camps and traveling. but i cant get over the 2 regrets: 1 being unable to go for windsurf camp, and 2 being unable to attend cheeps 21st birthday surprise ): seeing all the photos from windsurf camp, esp the comm photo, almost everyone is there, well at least its like the best attendance from comm ever. ugh. im sorry. i really wanted to be there. and cheeps was the church kaki since young. im really sorry i couldnt be there. sigh esp when all the other lovelies were there too. we havent been able to gather tgt like this in a long while cos ppl are always away. and this is the time where everyone is back. but yet i wasnt there. sigh. i guess, regrets are also part-and-parcel of growing up. and in life, we are bound to live with certain regrets which we will really hate ourselves for.
anw hols are coming to an end alr, thts really fast. im caught in btw which mods to take. esp btw dev and social. cos dev is really slack this sem, plus the timing is more norm. but social lect is good, plus many of my friends are taking it, but the timing sucks to ttm. think i managed to come up with a pretty decent timetable with dev, bt nt with social. ugh. how how how. and i really hope jer will take french 2 with me. thou i'll prolly still take it even if she doesnt. will be applying for sep this sem, prolly to france! so i really wna master french well, or at least better. guess i got complacent, A- was kinda uncalled for. i know i sound damn arrogant here, bt its just personal expectations. i really hope i can make it. FRANCE has been my dream country. i better start revising french. hope i'll survive stats 2, heard its pretty xiong, 3 tb and wht not. hope bio wont kill me either, its super content heavy, plus the fact that i've nv taken bio. ugh. okay kat shall survive year 2.
OG outing at rach's later. cant wait. rach is such a lovely girl. love her ttm. billy&deb wedding tmr. like finally, after 10yrs tgt, i feel really really happy and excited for them. truely bless them from the bottom of my heart, hope they live a blissful life filled with God's love and blessings (:
ciao~
in life, we lose some; we gain some
but there're some things i prefer not to lose;
and there're some things i NEVER want to lose
the voice of truth
tells me a different story
the voice of truth says
'do not be afraid'