Wednesday, April 15, 2009;
♥ 12:27 PM
yup its lunch break now and im done eating (:
my colleague's mp4 player is on loudspeaker and there's the song 'without you' by air supply.
and i smiled to myself as scenes of anyi, ping ping, jason and friends over at mae sa long mission trip singing ''can lee...if libulibudoubt you" came flashing across my mind. LOLS! yea its frm american idol or smth, some bulgarian singer or smth like tht. its supposed to be " cant live, if living is without you" HAHA! miss those good old days spent in mae sa long with the crazy bunch, crapping, laughing, singing, spilling our hearts out, fighting against the wind on the pickup truck, bathing in super cold water, playing with oreo (the black and white puppy), eating full 3 meals a day with super nice veg, strawberry and banana pocky-ing, honey lemon green-teaing, cementing, bricking, digging shit hole, tieing metal rods tgt with the nail, playing with all the lil kids at home and at sch etc...
anw, got this frm tiffy's:
'its funny how when we were still skipping to primary school with our cartoon printed backpacks we envied the lives of adults and hoped to grow up faster.maybe simply because they have more freedom, to do whatever they desire.
however, when we finally got a taste of adult hood, we realised such freedom actually comes with heavy responsibilities.it isnt just about going to sch, studying, making new friends, having the latest gadgets and at the end of the day, returning home to a table of your favourite food for dinner.it is about HOW to get all those things that you used to take for granted, which you conveniently just had to ask your parents for and they simply GAVE it to you.now you have to EARN it.'
this is so thought provoking and sentimental. i agree, i totally agree. i guess the most basic principle of human its tht we're just nv contented or happy with wht we have at present. and as humans, we often like to look back - 'if only i had done this...', 'if only i had chosen...' etc, a whole lot more 'if onlys'. well you cant say tht its smth bad tht we must change, or we must do smth to counter this problem. or rather you cant really define it as a problem in the first place, its a phenomenom emerged frm human nature. so its basically just inevitable. only thing we can do is how to deal with it, how to react alongside it for the better of mankind, so tht it doesnt hinder our growth. and yes now we have to EARN for things which were once so easily given to us, WORRY abt things which we nv had to worry abt, and LEARN things which can nv be taught bt only to experience it ourselves. and wht are all these for? to prepare us for adulthood as we'll all grow to become like our parents one day.
i dont wanna grow up, bt to say the truth, i cant wait to go back to school to study again. im serious. haha. if nt my brain will just rot away in time to come. i want some new knowledge, new insights, new experiences, new people, new friends, new environment, new responsibilities and new life. learning is fun, its just the exam part tht sucks. but we all go thru it, so whts e big deal?
think im gna continue with street jazz 2 (: okay i better call them ltr. then after this i'll prolly take up french in june. im so excited to learn french again. french is love man <3
i think 'fighting spiders' is nice, its a very old school feeling, it makes me laugh a lot. Esp charlie is super cute cos he's just so chubby! still rmb him being xiao hu lu in some chi drama - think its double happiness or the one abt fishball business or smth, cant rmb.
and my boss just offered me a delifrance kiwi fruit tart! goodness, its heaven man (: i love its fruit tarts, esp its crust! its just MEGA nice (: bt its been such a long time ever since i last ate delifrance fruit tarts. i love the peach tarts the most. bt somehow i just stopped eating them, prolly cos i dont live near any delifrance! and its price increased! ): okay i shall be determined to buy one the very nxt time i pass by a delifrance! hoho!
and i happen to see this on tv ytd. its at a wake, the wife was saying a few words abt her husband who died. so she started by talking abt things tht happened in bed - his snoring tht sounds like starting a car engine; and his fart, tht sounds like a dog barking. LOLS! then she said: 'but it's all these little imperfections tht made him perfect for me'. and tht sentence immediately struck me like a thunder bolt, somehow. its such a sweet and lovely but yet honest thing to say.
i rmb i used to hear abt fighting for your one true love bla bla bla etc and stuff like tht. bt as i grow older, i come to a realisation and acceptance tht lovers in love mutually may not really be meant for each other. cos of every other and any other reason you cld think of due to the given circumstances and consequences. sometimes, we'll nv know why, bt we just have to accept it, or rather, we will just accept it as time goes. then you think to yourself, then, whts the whole point? aiya, i no longer know wht im thinking. haha. its just messy and confusing. so i shall just leave this hanging here then. heh =x
i feel so stupid
smiling at myself all the time
whenever i think of you
wht wld you do if you're rejected
cos he/she fell for your best friend?
the voice of truth
tells me a different story
the voice of truth says
'do not be afraid'
