Monday, March 23, 2009;
♥ 12:39 PM
okay yes its finally time to update. lots of stuff has been happening. and since the accountant isnt in tdy, so i shall slack and fill you in. hoho. so this will be a mega super duper longggg post.
yup so sb4 met up on 5th, day before results day. ate at marina sqaure MOF. it's really great catching up (: so results day came, i took leave cos i was thinking i wouldnt have the heart to be at work. and yes indeed i was dead scared. and i just wanted to find someone to go to sch with. gf aint free. so i ended up joining barney and win's class in celebrating denice's birthday. there were like 2 cakes, bt it was mega delicious. one was frm awfully choc cos barney works there! okay so came 230, met up with the class and sat in the hall - we were all super duper scared, the atmosphere was just so tense. okay so the principal addressed us and up came the names of those with 7As, 6As, 4H2 As, and 3H2 As. Hari had 6As, feel like kicking his butt cos the day before he was just saying how he is so not getting on stage cos he was saying he fell aslp during math. in the end he didnt only gt 3As, bt double tht. okay whtever. jtoh, daryl, bing, swai, angel, phuong, mel all had 3H2 As. congrats ppl. kinda surprised xwini didnt cos she's one of those expected ones. just as much as i dreamt and said i wanna gt my results on stage in j1 during the same period, i was hoping at least 2As-chem & math.
bt surprise surprise! i had none ): i was uber disappointed. Bs and Cs, were kinda crap results to me. almost everyone had A for h1 econs, and i got a C. sigh, prolly i just wasnt cut out for econs in the first place. i really really felt like crying, bt i really didnt want to, i told myself tht i cannot cry. i dont want ppl to console me, to pity me. until i saw huihui and ask her how she did. she did relatively well. when she saw me, she just knew i wanted to cry. somehow i dno why, i just couldnt hold my tears back in front of her, maybe cos i knew i didnt needa put up a strong front in front of her. or rather i know i couldnt, cos she can just see thru it all. and when my mum called, she heard BCD, and said huh so lousy arh, and i totally just broke down. i quickly cooled down cos i didnt wanna cry. then went town to eat ding tai fung with toh,seah,wen,dan. then went toh hse to wii and guitar heroes. well i didnt really have the mood to play, bt it certainly did divert my attention away a lil. i was so tired tht i cabbed home. went online and got to know just how much i fell short of other's expectations of me and K even talked to me on fb to check if i was okay. yeah i know i've disppointed many many ppl, including myself. im sorry but tht is the fact. guess want i can do now is to embrace it, find a course in uni tht i want and start afresh frm there and work hard all over again.
bt really, its easier said than done, cos all my hopes and dreams were like dashed all of a sudden, and i was kinda lost. i didnt really know how to react or wht to do. aviation management was all i ever wanted to take ever since i got to know abt it. i wanted to do aerospace engineer before i got to know abt aviation management. i've always wanted to work in the aviation industry since young. i dno why, i just have a thing for planes. actually if i were to apply to aus now for aviation management, im pretty sure i'll get it with my grades, just tht i dont have the money. well maybe i only have myself to blame. if i wanted tht so much, i shld have worked harder for wht i wanted. but on the other hand, life doesnt always go the way i want it, life isnt always the way we want it to be. or rather, God has smth else better in store for me. cos im totally sure i deserved better grades than wht i got. oh and ZL gt 6As, bt he didnt go up stage cos he was late! bt neither did i hear his name leh =x well i expected him to go on stage alr, bt nt 6As. haha. well everyone knows he's such a smart ass la. bt im really proud of him (: gotta really thank him for reminding me tht God has the best plans for me (: made me feel so much better.
okay so time for some serious decisions to be made now. i really wanna take psychology or sociology cos i just find interest in studying abt ppl, how/why they behave in a certain manner, be it norm or abnorm. but the thing is, sociology is nth specify, its way too general, then psy gotta do up till masters/phd in order to practise it in sg. which comes the thought of WHAT IF i dont make it all the way there. i know it sounds so inconfident of myself bt i mean i gotta be realistic in such situations and have a backup plans if ever all the 'WHAT IFs' happen by murphy's law. and im really worried/scared if i can really cope cos its FASS-faculty of arts and social science. for goodness sake i've always been a science student ever since day 1. i was nv trained as an arts student, nv trained to write like an arts student. communications in new media seems interesting too. project&facilities management/real estate seems fun too. but my friend says proj&fac mgmt is very general mgmt lvl, cos they learn a bit of everything, so cant do much also cos nt v specialised. sigh. i really dno. or i shld go general engineering then specialise in year 2? tht sounds fine too. bt i gotta work real hard, cos wht if i dont gt into the specialised engineering tht i want? then its like GG. thts why im gna meet the girls this wed to talk abt it. so much for missing the open hse. bleah =x okay bt i was in need for a greater purpose. i'll talk abt it ltr (:
sat went for smu open hse with tiffy. hmmm nt exactly where i wld wanna go cos its a very biz sch. modules and courses are way limited. bt sch life wise is superb i have to say. its really happening and stuff. yup. bt nus wld be a better choice in any sense, be it location or its social science. NUS is like how near my hse. haha. then went marina barrage with soar. its a real b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l place! (: thou it rained initially, bt glad it stopped towards the end so we cld walk out and take photos! XD
same sunday the 8th and it was a bloody exciting day cos we planned a surprise party for my bro's 21st! (: rushed over aft dance. it was at auntie elsa's function room. auntie elsa bluffed him tht we were gg for dinner tgt to celebrate his birthday. then she said go to gym room to ask his son and hubby to go up and change to dinner, then we brought him to the function room (which he thought was the gym room -.-..) and tada! i was really fun and exciting (:i managed to gt church friends, his high sch friends, college friends, choir friends over. and he was really totally SURPRISED. and cried almost thruout cos he say he feel so loved! awww..how sweet. haha. wht a lovely sister he has right. HAHA. (yes tht made him waive off the 2.50 which i owe him for chicken rice. LOL!) theres buffet, sushi, cake, drinks, some games and songs. and he got a roger federer K-16 tennis racquet okay, no joke. so cool la. so jealous. bleah. lols.
when everything ended and just as he thought everything was over, he got another surprise waiting for him at home-his med friends (: bt he ran outta tears to cry alr. lols. but before tht, it was so scary and exciting at the same time cos someone drove us home, which was like 10mins only, i msg his med friends say we're on the way back alr-tht was like at 945. bt the med friend say cannot cannot, haven deco finish, drag till like 1030, i was like wth? how am i supposed to do tht when someone is sending us all the way back to our BLOCK. and cant possibly ask him to detour or smth wht cos nt v nice mah, ppl so nice send us back alr still request so much, nxt day got work somemore. and its nt like 5 min leh, its like 45mins. goodness gracious. and my bloody phone kept shutting down, i was so annoyed. plus when the car turned into the carpark, its obviously visible tht my hse door was open and the lights were all on. i freaked out cos i was like shit my bro might have seen tht. bt he didnt say anything, so guess he missed tht. so i just asked my mum to bring my bro go shengsiong. and so i went home first cos i was tired. phew. his med friends were still tying up the happy birthday words and balloons and stuff. it was really pretty (: and they just kept surprising him somehow when more ppl came cos they were late! then they played wii. its looked super fun and funny. raving rabbids is just hilarious. i wanna gt wii too! it can be a family investment XD
bt seriously, he has really really nice friends, nth more anyone cld ask for. and really gotta thank auntie elsa for providing the room and food and stuff, and esther for helping me to get ppl to deco the place and bonnie for sending out countless sms to glowing ppl cos it was all super super last min. plus i just got my results and all the uni stuff bothering me, i almost died man, so really thank everyone for helping and keeping the secret within (:
wed 11th went for zong pop with tiffy. wht a son. haha! yes its all the way at tekong. pretty much the same when my bro popped. everyone looked exactly the same, seriously. lols. managed to see lunny too! while derrick was too busy taking photos to find us. if i really had a son, i wld have felt mega proud of him (rmb i have utmost respect for soldiers) everything was cool, quite nice. his mum fetched him frm pasir ris and was so nice to give us a lift to BB. we were gg to meet simin anw to go ikea to eat! (: then walked ard queensway cos i needa gt fbts for mission trip. thurs was 4h dinner at marche! woohoo (: great catching up with all, esp the army guys. even leonard and derrick went, yes im so totally NOT joking. and mayqi, i havent seen her in such a longggg while. lunny came despite feeling a lil sick. so nice, he must have missed us a lot. haha. i desperately wanted to meet up cos i'll be flying the wk they're off! and god knows when will they be free again for gathering. my son is mega pro at DDR okay. he prolly has secret prac sessions when im nt home. lols! then had coffee talk at starbucks. thou its all army stuff, bt kinda interesting to hear all the different stories frm all the diff army guys. lol.
2d dinner on fri at err...i forgot the name of the eatery. anw its the one right beside page one. great catching up with 2d too, havent met them in ages, cny was the last time if im nt wrong. thou nt many turned up, bt its better than nth i guess. i got to know tht many 2d ppl didnt do really well, bt its okay, we still have each other (: sometimes it just gets annoying and tiring organising such stuff cos sometimes some ppl just dont give a damn abt such stuff, and you really feel dishearted at times. cos more often than not, its a matter of choice whether they turn up or not. i mean everyone has to make an effort, its really nt easy-no one ever said it wld be. thou i also do understand tht we're no longer kids anymore, and sometimes responsibilities really means responsibilities, cant abandon things as and when we like anymore, like how we used to a couple of years back-cos we were still kids. yes i do accept tht fact, but its just smth tht i personally feel sad abt for humans. i mean i dont deny tht i feel this way, but yeah, i do try to understand. thts why i always appreciate ppl for making the effort to turn up, be it they're mega busy or super free.
win, sha, sue and me still went to catch my bloody valentine 3D. goodness. its bloody gory and uber disgusting , plus the 3D effect, imgine how disturbing it is. lol bt win was so funny cos she thought the movie isnt seen thru a screen, just wear the special glasses and everything is seen thru the glasses itself. the glasses were just for the 3D effect la. haha. cabbed home AGAIN. cos im freaking tired and i still gotta rush home to pack my luggage cos i have a plane to catch the nxt morn. thts when i really wished so much so much - was there to send me home again (:
love;game?
the voice of truth
tells me a different story
the voice of truth says
'do not be afraid'
