this one's very obvious. STRESS!

design on some plastic bag. saying..err..okay fine i dont know!
but its just kinda cool.

YES THE 10 PACKS OF HARIBO!

this is the glass necklace. red heart. how sweet of him (:
rmb the other time he went aus he got me a heart pendant too
but it was a blue one. haha. LOVE MY BROTHER! (:

but his bill gave my mum a shock. it was like 200+. LOLS! sms were at like 30 cents each. then i didnt know overseas calls were really so damn ex. abt 5 mins only cost 10-20 over bucks. GOSH! whole trip was like 5.5k for 4 countries, worth it? i dno, bt i guess so. now he went over to his friend's hse for euro finals. and leaving me alone to watch it on my on. how nice ): its damn sad to watch euro finals alone man! i wld even rather watching it with the uncles at the coffeshop than watching it alone. sigh. cos its like when theres a goal, or whoever wins in the end, i'll be like the only one shouting and cheering with my mum fast aslp, and the surrounding silence shouts back at me, how pathetic eh! nvm, guess i'll prolly msg my boyfriends. LOL! but prolly not him. maybe he's watching with her, very very likely.


fellowship ytd was an evanglistic event, where we played 'the game of life'. kinda like monopoly, but modified by the organisers. kinda boring when we first started out, bt it got more fun later, when ppl started going 'shopping' and buying stuff. and we even got married and had kids. LOL! buying babies at 600 each, carribean at only 3k, lambourghni at 1.4k, WI at 150, how great does that sound. haha. yea so in the end i have a crumpler, adidas superstar (black and gold, damn class), lambourghni, golden volkswagen, iphone, gucci bag, boat hse, 2 5-room HDB, a penthse, lakehse, WI, 6 kids and my husband is aaron kwok! WOOHOO! haha. there were some cork ups along the way, like earthquake, whre 2 members died, and like rise in education fees and wht not. yea its kinda unrealistic in a sense, but the cork ups were kinda realistic in a sense that things do happen unexpectedly in our lives, which we wld have never anticipated.

yea this is wht i bought. it filled the whole A4 paper! HAHA!

we're always so busy studying, so that we'll gt a good job, a good pay, and have a good life. but wht really is a good life? thats very subjective. everyone defines a good life differently, as we all have different expectations and aims in life. we all have different purposes in life, we all look for different things in life. but the bottom line is that, no matter wht we have or how much we have now, we'll lose it all one day as we take our leave, so we shld be accumulating treasures not on earth, but in the heavens. and it doesnt matter if we lose everything now, as we know we alr have our treasure in the heavens (:


and omg im so sorry ZM for disturbing you the whole night/morn. OOPS! yea guess i was the distraction? i feel uber guilty man, bt i just cant stop myself from talking to you! yea i LOVE talking to you, happy? haha. and whats with the thanks man, thats what FRIENDS are for RIGHT! and all the best for your MT oral tmr yo! dont worry ya, just do your best and god will do the rest! you'll do fine yea adidas spokesman! and if im rich, i'll still get a lambo. an ORANGE one. HAHA! (:


gonna slp now. catching euro finals later. yes ALONE ):


she tells herself not to,
but she still misses him;
day 21;

gosh i cant believe its only week 1 and i'm feeling so exhausted alr. i dno why, maybe cos its just the 1st week, and everyone is feeling tired too. maybe it'll be better after this week. or maybe i'm just too distracted. distracted by the many different things. it aint just abt you, even if it is about you alone, its enough to drain my energy away alr; its enough to make me feel so listless the whole day. like today you didnt had paper, so didnt see you in sch, neither did you reply me. i just get so restless. cos for the whole day i've been thinking like oh where's he; what's he doing; why aint he replying me; did he even get the msg; whats going on; did smth happen and well the list goes on. and the fact that he didnt wake me up this time round makes me think even more. yea so obviously i missed the match. DAMN. i was kinda angry at first. but on 2nd thought, he's not obliged to do so; but i just dno why theres no news from him. neither did he fb nor blog nor msn. its kinda making me worried. and its like the last day before she comes back tmr, just give me your whole night man. ahhh! c'mon c'mon where're you?!?! ):

haven been studying the past 2 nights cos i was trying to hard to write my SGC. it seriously sucks man. i really dont know how to write. as in its like praising yourself and selling yourself thruout, thats uber thick skin la! i just so cannot type those words out. but yea i still had no choice. today was the mad rush man. the whole lib was filled with ppl, hogging the computers, doing their SGC, dropping them into the relevant folders, and printing their PQ out. but its just so annoying. its just murphy's law man. all things just go wrong at the wrong times. i dno is it just my class, bt apparently many ppl seem to be printing their PQ too. and the printer just had to break down at that time. how great. and we've to hand it in by 2.30.argh. my classmate is a librarian and so he tried to help us get it printed using the admin printer. and then again, somehow the printer got screwed up too. then finally we got it printed at the com lab. should have gone there from the start man. the printing was so fast and efficient! but yea we were still late anw, but apparently guess K doesnt know! HAHA!

the school is freaking damn quiet after school these few days. prolly cos J1s having terms, then i dno where have all the J2s gone. prolly home to mug. increasing J2s are staying in sch to mug, bt its still very quiet. maybe they're in the lib or hub or which means they're all seriously mugging hard at the canteen or void. the silence is really deafening. ironic. wed had entree mugging session! it was kinda productive i guess, taking into account i was so slpy after lunch, plus the afternoon, it was just so hard to concentrate! bt still i managed to complete my sampling tut! i'll prolly stay in sch frm next week onwards. prolly get entree gang, or huihui to study with me (: c'mon kat you've got to start to stay focused man. its 48 days to prelims!

i was getting so stressed up about anything and everything one of the days. i really just felt like dying, breaking down and crying. cos i really cant take it. its really so tiring. 50 days seems so lil to prepare for prelims, but on the other hand, i've still got to endure for another 50 days of hardship and mugging and stressing out. its like omg how am i supposed to survive thru the 50 days. and after which theres still like 2 months to A's. time seems short, but thinking abt it, its like 4 months of hardcore study and focusing non-stop. its scary man, doubt i'll have the stamina to finish the whole race.

Just as i was feeling so awful, yuexing sent me the verse of the week :"The battle is not yours but the Lord's.""The Lord of Hosts will fight for you and you will hold your peace.'' then i consulted yuexing and she replied: ''Daddy GOD has always been there alright, and yes, you may get tired of studying and just wanna give up, its really okay. take a break, and pray'' These words just sink into me so deeply. That affirmation is just what i needed i guess. knowing that IT IS OKAY. it is okay to feel tired and wanna give up. its perfectly fine to feel so, its normal. then I'm reminded to rely not on my own strength and wisdom, but the Lord's. I was reminded to seek GOD consistenly and pray for wisdom and strength to carry on each and every day. The Lord will never abandon or forsake us, HE will never let us fight this on our own. Anyway, we can't. GOD is good all the time! (:

Next week feels just as bad, 3 days of chem test straight. Oh wells, but theres Entree Chalet to look forward too! Sigh, sad man, its feels so nostalgic. All good things come to an end, how true. New exco will be out, J1s will be on their own soon, really hope to see entree grow upon the foundation we've built (if there even was a foundation in the first place). I'm just gonna go all out and go crazy, afterall its farewell J2s. and its at ZERO cost. HEY! no fair eh! i paid for seniors farewell, and we kinda got shit. yea. pathetic. nvm, as long as ours is good. heard there's gonna be buffet too! yet again. HAHA (: gonna do a lil smth for my entree lovelies <3


Leona Lewis - Better In Time

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See, somehow i can't forget you
Afterall that we've been through

Go in, come in
Thought I heard a knock
Whos' there? No one
Thinking that I deserved it
Now i realise that I really didn't know
You didn't notice, you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning, to love again
All I know is, Imma be okay

Thought I couldnt live without you
It's gonna hurts when it heals to
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile 'cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

How could I turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
was it all that easy
to just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming
Dont' wanna let, hurt my feelings

But that's the path, I believe in
And I know that, time will heal it
You didn't notice, you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning, to love again
All I know is, Imma be okay

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go so I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is, I'll be fine without you
Yes, I will


Am i trying/learning to let go? I really dont know. Am i wiling to let go? Can i let go? Guess i'll pray about it.


she misses him;
day 20;

gosh i woke up at 6! dread it. have to adjust my body alarm back. sigh. damn tired the whole day. was trying to keep myself awake the whole time. i prayed and i really hoped things wld turn out better after the hols. but apparently it isnt. it isnt going anywhere. it isnt even anywhere near fine. but i'm not really much affected anymore, i dont really feel sad abt it anymore. maybe cos i cant be bothered anymore. seriously im numb already, oblivious. does that sound sad? i dno, guess yall dont bother either.


someone pulled my bag as i was going in for math lect. i turned ard and saw the entree lovelies! chye aik, luci, xiaohui, yonghao! woots! i was really so happy to see them man. wished hazel, winnie and barney was there too! JOY of my sch life. love them lots (: can't wait for wednesdays now, cos there'll be entree mugging session! plus guess i'll get to see him (: thou i already saw him today (: was looking out for him, but was thinking no hope cos almost all the J1s cleared alr. so as i turned to walk to the aisle, i saw him! oh well cos he's freaking tall, damn easy to spot. HOHO! saw JC too and as usual, he gave me this cheeky smile. haha. one funny guy. aww i miss entree so badly! ): but anws, all the best for TERMS yo ppl! hope his interview went well tdy (:


gosh its abt 50 days left to prelims! thou i've started, bt guess im no where near half prepared! shucks. im gonna have class chem test every wed during lab. and its those 4 topics which needs help most for physical chem - equilibrium, kinetics, energetics, electrochem. and damn, my organic chem is getting rusty! its time to revise and practise for organic chem! 40 organic chem MCQs to start with for next week's test! i was reminded to write my SGC by friday. GOSH!


anw bought pair of new sch shoes ytd. isnt the best that i wanted, but its the best that i could find that fits me and within my budget. and omg im so love with the orange and purple adidas superstar! its freaking nice! I WANT THAT!

okay promise i'll blog abt church camp some other time. its way too long and late to start now. econs day tmr. SUCKS. studying with hazel in sch tmr. thou for a short while only, but still its a source of motivation! and i love her loads! to luci and yonghao, good luck completing all your work. to him, all the best for math and chem. to ZM, hang on there boy. we're on the same boat, so you're never alone yea, plus GOD is with us ALL THE TIME. when you feel scared or tired, take a break and pray for the LORD is our strength and provider. i'll pray for you too yo! i'll pray to Daddy GOD to keep you calm and peace, and just the strength to carry on. and i'll always be there for ya whenever you need me yea. you'll do fine for wed's a math exam yea. you can do it boy, c'mon, we'll all make it thru (:

toddles!

she misses him;
day 15;

well France has really been disappointing this season. Yeah, its the end for them already. Italy and Holland are moving on. I seriously hope Sweden will get through too! C'mon man Ibrahimovic, show some power and magic! Sucks that starhub ain't telecasting that match! They're telecasting the Spain match instead. Oh well, but i wouldnt mind seeing David Villa getting more 'Man of the Match' awards either. HAHA. Portugal-Germany semis its tmr morn! Which is when i'm in camp. NICE. okay i dont care. i'm gonna ask permission and get the everyone to watch the semis with me at MACS! Since our camp is near downtown. C'mon man, its the SEMIS! How often do you get to watch that? I'm anticipating Ronaldo to be on form and play well and get a goal in, or at least assist (: But i dont mind seeing Podolski's or Ballack's or Klose's attempts either. I'm sure he'll go watch at macs too (:

I feel so accomplished. Cos i finally like finish my chem tys physical chem MCQs, other than transition metals. cos the lecture on it is not even finished! I also finally read through Group II and Group VII notes, thou it still takes much effort and practise to rmb and understand what goes on. I also attempted the rest of the qns of Group VII Tut. At least i know i won't be lost now when the teacher is blabbering on. Got a haircut today, actually just the fringe. Cos its irritating me, its irritating my eyes. Damn, i've got banks now, its freaking straight. It's always weird at first, but i always cut it like that, and it always gets better as it grows longer.

Was talking to a friend online. It's really funny how i always listen to people and try to give advice, try to console and make them feel less screwed. But somehow i can't do it on myself. Maybe thats why they say doctors can never heal themselves. You always need people from the outside, a third party to help. Cos its only them who can see the whole picture clearly and take a very rationale stand towards the issue. Maybe thats when ZM came in (: I realise i don't practice what i preach. Or maybe its just that talk is cheap, and its always easier said than done. Yeah so i was talking to my friend, then i realised, hey thats whats all thats missing, thats just exactly what i should be doing with my own issues. Loving is never about possessing. I admit at first i was angry cos he doesn't seem a bit of guilty or affected at all, and life seem just as great for him. But i realised i didnt really want him to. Being good friends now is just as good, or even better. I can still poke into his life and see whats going on. Yeah, maybe its really better to go back to where we left off and just stay like that, stay like that. Whatever happens after 28june, however they end up, I just want him to be happy (: You can always count on me yo! (:

I just wanna know everything thats going on in his life. I wanna share every bit of sorrow and joy with him. I wanna be there whenever he needs someone. I just wanna be his guardian angel (: Since i cant have him, neither can i forget him, i will just keep him deep down in a corner of my heart.

Leaving for camp in 10 hrs. Packing not done. Off to make bestie's present (:

I'll miss him (:


She loves him;
She wants him happy;
day 11;

gosh im so tired. maybe cos i slpt from 530-730. and i was trying so hard to do my compre but i simply couldnt concentrate cos of some stuff. had GP consultation. and gosh my AQ was like way out. sigh, maybe i wrote a freaking 2 pages. ARGH. rush off to meet my kids. they're doing well, almost everything is done. bt oh my son, it was a tiresome job trying to edit their proposal. their language and sentence structures are just weird! firstly trying to understand wht its trying to say, next to rephrase their idea so that its more comprehensible. being a language teacher aint easy man. then went home to mug. im finally starting chem. MCQ seems an easy option, bt in reality its killing me. especially electrochem and ionic equilibrium. oh man i hate those 2 topics. its simply driving me NUTS!

ytd morn was like a total trash out session-
truth stares right into my eyes
reality hit me fast and hard head-on
yes im devastated;
i said i was fine, i dont want you to feel bad
as much as i tried to put up a strong front, i'm no where near fine
you said you're sorry, but sadly, sometimes its really too late to apologise
you lied for your own convenience, but you left me hanging in mid-air
seeing more and more photos, my heart spells envy with pain
yall look compatible, cute, sweet, lovely, blissful together
afterall its 2 yrs, i dont know how long/short that feels for a couple, but yea its been 2 yrs
what can i say? what can i do? NOTHING but willow in self-pity
you say its complicated, but im sure the answer is obvious to everyone else but yourself
married with a ring; you're holding on. i know how badly you want it actually; stop deceiving yourself.
oh man what am i doing, saying all the things i shouldnt be saying at all
i really hated you for lying right from the start, why WHY WHY?!?! idiot.
oh boy but you just fit the bill TOTALLY
its like finding a treasure but you know you cant never have it, cos someone else found it FIRST
feelings given out is like water poured away, you can never take them back
but im sorry too, i never wanted to intrude, i never wanted to drag you into this shit
guess all i can do now is PRAY
its all yet another test of FAITH

i'm reminded to praise HIM in times or good AND bad
it all feels planned. who knows he'll be at his cuz hse; who knows he'll talk to me when he's away; who knows he'll mention abt his gf; who knows i'll ever know the truth this way.
i prayed for wisdom, i prayed for a sign, i prayed for a direction - its all been answered.
ZM was like a god sent guardian angel. i wouldnt have been hit back to reality if it werent for him. and just a while ago, when i was feeling so awful and i didnt know what to do and who to turn to cos im misssing him so badly cos he's away at camp, suddenly he just appeared online from overseas and talked to me. YES from overseas. its like the least possible thing i wld ever expect to happen. and we're like near strangers but yet we can talk, maybe cos he always knows whats going on in my mind. i dont want 28 june to come ): im scared.

anw whats with me man. always falling for the wrong guys. and maybe there's a curse on guys with younger brothers. this is like the 4th. get me out!



I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do


she misses him badly;
she wants him back right now;
day 9;

omg this song just totally speaks my heart right. totally TOTALLY
the one and only song in my playlist now
the words just keep running thru my mind, again and again.
and i keep thinking over and over again.

westlife - have you ever

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry? yes, currently
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night? yes, always
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right? yes, so usually they dont get it
Have you ever?
Have you ever?

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything
To make them understand? i just did and i am still
Have you ever had someone
Steal your heart away? it was an accident; he's an idiot; so much for lying
You'd give anything
To make them feel the same? i tried bt guess i failed
Have you ever searched for words
To get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start? guess i gave up even before trying, cos it feels impossible

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all your life? i always thought i had
You'd do just about anything
To look into their eyes? definitely, evidently
Have you fin'ly found the one
You've given your heart to
Only to find that one
Won't give their heart to you? ever since i tried & started loving, currently he has his heart locked in someone else's
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait
For that day when they will care? ever since i started dreaming; ever since i added him on msn/fb

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms, baby? maybe its just impossible;somehow im still holding on
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand
How I need you next to me? guess you understand, but i know you wont
Gotta get you in my world
'Cause, baby, I can't sleep cant eat; cant slp, maybe thats depression


she misses him;
day 8;

caught swe-esp match. aye, swe lost again! damn sad. i've wanted them to gt thru ever since world cup. yea. bt ibrahimovic was AWESOME, one of my favs. he's really power man. that goal was damn nice man. he was marked, somehow he struggled to take a shot, the goalie managed to touch the ball, bt didnt managed to save it, so it was like rolling slowly across the line aft his hand brushed past the ball. that moment was fantastic man. i dno was it the slow-motion effect or what, bt everyone was just staring at the ball to see if it was a goal. there was a shot by david villa, was damn nice bt was off a lil, then he gt damn pissed. haha. bt that shot was damn nice too. david villa- NICE. bt ltr he made a last min goal, which led esp into the quarters. bt swe was playing well, at least to me. they had great passes and stategies. and henrik larsson is damn cute. HOHO. he's one of my favs too. LOLS!


better get some sleep, church at 2
gotta rush my compre aft chruch, cos maybe i have consultation tmr! SUCKS! ):


she misses him;
day 7;

it feels great, having him to msg me to wake me up for soc match, it feels like bliss (:
ned-fra. sigh fra lost, damn sad. bt one is that their team is pretty old, many of them are all 30 odd alr. gosh! i didnt realise some of the players are 30 odd alr! for ned i was surprised robben and van persie didnt start. robben is awesome, one of my favs too. you'll realise i actually kinda have lots of favs. HOHO! bt yea van nisterlrooy is authentic la, everyone knows him, everyone knows he's good. bt their first goal, the header was kinda nice. haha. but kinda sad cos fra had many nice passes and attacks, sadly they didnt or couldnt turn them into goals. well thats wht you gt when zidane is gone. SAD.

catch a nap, before dressing up for the wedding. the heels were killing me man, so i brought change. HAHA. and everyone was so pretty pretty! and omg charis looked damn cute and princess-cy. yea she's more than used to being a flower girl alr. and it was so funny cos she didnt dare talk/smile/laugh cos she had lipstick on alr. LOL! and as usual josh was the page boy, another cutie (: xue'er was so beautiful and taorong was so handsome, what a lovely couple. haha. rehearsed our song one last time to see if we can make do w/o mic, cos it was troublesome to pass the mic, or everyone gt a mic each. i loved the part which the lil kids sang alone (chorus part) cos it sound so innocent, so beautiful (:

okay then ppl starting coming in. xue'er students came. it was one whole bunch of them. sorta clogged up the staircase cos they weren't moving into the chapel hall. and the lift area is pretty small aft you put the table to write the blessings and the photo album. their wedding pictures were AWESOME. its so pretty! oh man im so envious. i wanna gt married and take lovely wedding photos too! the couple is just so sweet. awww. aft the usual stuff, theres this vid taorong made to thank their parents. it was so touching. saw the parents and xue'er tearing. even i teared. cos it just felt sad, its like looking back on the past, when they were young, its like a fast forward of seeing them grow up. i dno, it always feels ironic. reminiscing is ironic itself so to speak, it feels very nostalgic, a mixture of all sorts of feelings, whtever you can think of. maybe thats wht make us human beings.

anw their love story is so noble, its like outta the ordinary. GOD works wonders (: its like she went over to thai for misison trip then got to know him. and somehow feelings developed and they were on a long dist relationship for 2 yrs, long dist calls, letters, and wht not. and now, aft 3 yrs, they're here in the wedding hall, standing right before GOD, making their vows and commitments to each other. its really impressive how they did it. its even more marvellous how GOD made it possible. kinda sad cos she's marrying over to thai, but currently will still be in SG till he finishes his course in the bible college. xue'er has been a wonderful sunday sch tcher. thou the time spent was short, she felt very close to our hearts. im gna miss her so. their marriage is a great testimony of GOD, they will be deeply blessed by everyone of us, and i sincerely wish them a happy marriage eternally and hope they'll continue to be a testimony to the rest of the world (:
i really dno wht else to say bt i wish them happiness from the bottom of my heart (:
GOD is LOVE <3 GOD works wonders in many ways, wonder wht will the way for me be.

then it was photo taking session! then clear up time, bt apparently we went down to eat first and decided to clear ltr. bt when we were eating, they said the rest cleared up alr. oops! i felt so bad =x bt anw the food was good, yea. wedding buffets are ALWAYS good. and there's CHOC FONDUE! WOOTS! bt aft 1 round, i kinda got sick of it alr, cos the choc taste was so thick. bt somehow i've been eating quite lil recently. dont know why, as in i just gt full easily. im not anorexic. i can never be dont worry. the sky will fall if i ever be. LOLS!

went home and just slpt, was so shagged.


GOD's love NEVER fails;
she misses him;
day 6;

went church to help with the deco for xue'er's wedding. it was tedious man! i always find wedding deco very pretty, but i dont like doing them, somehow it find whatever i do kinda ugly. or maybe its just, perception. so we had to curl this fake leaves ard the staircase railing. me and carmen are seriously noob man. we spent the whole time doing just 1 flight of stairs, wheres esther and terry did the rest of the 3. and in the end ours still looked so ugly, and it looked different from theirs, so in the end they took ours out and did it on their own again. LOLS! oops sorry! =x im bad at such stuff. thats not the worse part man.

disaster came when we had to make small bundles of flowers which is to be tied to the sides of the chapel benches. we had to cut the stems short, put 2 white roses with some purple flowers (i think its 'forget me not', dno whats with that name bt apparently heard it was that, lol) and so its like we have to decide and arrange the flowers on our own until we find it nice then wrap the bottom with wet cotton wool and aluminium. gosh that was like hell for me. cos i have no idea how to arrange the flowers! i procrastinated, cos i dno what is nice and what is not. i'll always find other flowers my friends arranged nicer, then i'll feel so depressed. LOL. so terry cut the stems, carmen and esther arranged and wrapped the flowers. so guess what i did? what i did was also impt okay! to ensure the flowers look nice, i appointed myself the pluck out the petals on the roses which i think isn't nice. HAHA! but i was so scared that i keep plucking all the petals till theres like none left? HOHO.

then they still had to tie some netting (like chiffon material) hanging across the benches, err you know wht i mean right. then tie the flowers we bundled on it, then the ribbons. sound lil bt its HARDWORK! then theres this sister who was so good and experienced in such stuff. she even tied the bundled flowers onto the door handle of the chapel. freaking nice man. seriously, no joke. when everything was done, it was SO PRETTY! it just makes ppl happy (: oh bt theres another sister still arranging the flowers for the candles and the main flower to be put on stage, the humongous one. yea that one she's the pro one. cos think she's been arranging flowers every wk for service. she's amazing man. flowers are really really pretty (:

omg its friday the 13th! how auspicious! HOHO!


she misses him;
day 5;

YES ended in a kinda low key. cos there wasnt much on the last day. attendance was way low, everyone's heart just wasnt there anymore. there was a sorta talk, or more like some personality test, which we didnt bother listening at all cos we were playing cards thruout. oops =x then jap food was disappointing too. then there was supposed to be an outing to some company, but apparently one of them couldnt make it, so left with PSA, which only allow 50 ppl in for security reasons. so most of us didnt gt chosen to go, so the J2s went play pool at west coast recreation centre. played 2 games and my grp won both! haha. 1st game we won cos they gt the black ball in before clearing their own balls. 2nd game i gt the black ball in! WOOTS! haha. xiaohui is pro okay, she go all ard SG playing pool. LOL! jking.

went back NUS for buffet dinner. nic's grp gt 1st, xiaohui's grp gt 2nd, win's grp gt 3rd, dung's grp gt 4th. congrats yo people! dinner was okay, not bad, bt theres lots of left overs, cos it was meant for 150 ppl, bt like less than 100 were there. then cam-whored - sorry guys apparently theres some prob uploading the photos onto FB. i tried bt they kp saying upload failed. yea so guess yall have to wait for another time.

damn it man. ytd i just realised euro started on like 7 alr. ARGH! bt anw portugal won czech 3-1! YAY! but petr cech is one of my fav goalies. cristiano ronaldo is the seriously the man - very gifted, all time fav, be it portugal or man u (: didnt know nani was from portugal. sigh i miss seeing luis figo and zidane on field. there were the golden players. and i wonder why many of the good players for france were sub for the romania game. holland and france game is gna be exciting! think sweden and spain game is gna be exciting too. wanted sweden to get thru during the world cup, but sigh they didnt. they have good players like ljungberg, mellberg, henrik larsson, ibrahimovic, one of my fav too. and omg david villa did a hattrick against russia. way cool. and spain has many good players too like torres, villa, puyol, fabregas, alonso etc. but i think spain might win. germany has also been perf well with podolski, theres also ballack, klose, frings, metzelder, schweinsteiger. seems like this euro is gna be a tough fight yet again. not really rooting for any country yet cos i havent really seen them on field cos yea i've been missing all the matches. actually rooting or not is one thing, i just wanna watch good soccer (:

time to study alr. and yes i have the adrealine to study now for some reasons. math tuition at 2, then gg to church for xue'er wedding rehearsal. her wedding is on sat. they ask me go help with deco on fri, but guess i'll see how cos i really really got lots of studying to do. but i'll try.


he's not online, wonder where's he, blog nt updated, he seems to be MIA;
she still missed him; its been 4 days;

had case comp tdy. ahh kinda screw up. not exactly screw up. just that we were so lacking as compared to other grps. seriously the rest were good i admit cos they did more research. actually i didnt really know wht to expect luh. so yea. oh wells, bt anyway think we all still did a great job! bt i feel bad cos i admit i didnt really put in much effort cos im really damn sian of it alr cos its seriously just a replica of PW, and its like within 1 day somemore. so much worse. maybe cos we know wht to expect. and its just impossible to do it within one day. bt the J1s hadnt really gone thru e whole process of PW, so im sure they dont really know wht is expected yet. bt some of them really can speak so well oh my gosh. i was sorta stunned and surprised. or rather i was IMPRESSED. yes thats the word. and like ian who's in my grp. i predict he'll go well for OP. cos he can think well and fast on the spot and can get his msg across very clearly. 2 thumbs up! (: anw yes tmr is the last day! whoo! cant wait for it to end! there's jap lunch + buffet dinner! so i guess attendance will go up tmr! LOL!

ohya btw tdy everyone was damn handsome and pretty in formal wear! haha! omg jc is super funny man. esp with win emphasizing on his sports shoes! yes SPORTS SHOES with formal shirt!i dno maybe someone like - likes it eh? HOHO! we made fun of him thruout the day man. he's seriously just damn funny. oh my. haha! and im so sorry jc! i feel super bad. i mean i admit we were super bad to hide your notes and force you to say out your -. bt seriously we mean no harm man. we're just playing and we just wanna know thats all. c'mon man you know us, you know we're nt gna speak a word of it. so chill man. and seriously, its just chem bonding notes, dont get so EMO! bt still SORRY! =x



she's feeling so sad. cos he prolly was lying to her right from the start. he prolly has someone else reserved alr, theres no place for him to accomodate another soul, not even to notice her. and their acclaimed relationship was prolly bullshit too. she's kinda 100% certain this time. she's upset cos she likes him, bt it isnt mutual; be she's more upset cos he lied. she was never anywhere near him, she tried to, bt she just couldn't, maybe cos he doesnt let her. well its nt a sin to like someone whom you're nt supposed to like, bt it sure hurts; and she's very well clear of that, bt she doesnt mind, or rather she has no choice; cos he's pretty much her only life support now. there's nth much she can do other than updating herself on his life, and leaving him msges everyday, hoping he will see it. and he will see it, just a matter of time. he saw the one ytd, he'll prolly see the 365th msg, who knows? no one knows. she cant forget him, she just cant; and she knows she cant. now is the hard part, is GOD once again trying to put her thru the test of faith? well guess she'll have to pray! GOD pls show her some sign.


she hasnt seen him for 2 days;
she really misses him;

ahhh! finally got the time to blog. okay i shall skip the entree camp + family first cos it'll prolly take me 2 hrs. LOL! bt everything was fun and am freaking tired. i still had to get up early to be at nus by 830 tdy. DREAD IT! yea its the YES thingy that JH and YJ promised it'll be fun. bt oh man its so boring! there were 3 lects and think i fell aslp thru every single one of them. ice breakers sucked, so did the so called 'bonding games' BLEAH. just a total screw up la. and we had to work on this case with our new groups and its darn like PW la omg omg. seriously, just kill me man. 1 yr of PW torture is enough, so i've decided heck and just do with whatever comes up tmr. and my group is so quiet somemore. the silence is killing me. had to wear formal wear tmr. so hazel came up to me hse to try, see if she can gt anything. bt she say she's prolly gna wear some white top of hers in the end. LOLS!

oh man damn. think she's falling for someone. he has the same birthday as her bestfriend. most imptly shefinally found someone with a common interest - he loves war shows and stuff, he loves soc and is a manu fan. most imptly, he loves GOD (:
seriously im going crazy, oh man save me.
gosh this is obsession - wanna see him; wanna talk to him; going to his FB & blog every single day refreshing the page every moment. he's torubled, bt he doesnt wanna tell her why; he doesnt trust her, thats kinda obvious, his indifference and ignorance is killing her. oh man she's sure he knows it, he's just avoiding it. he shld just face it, seriously.


she hasnt seen him for 1 day;

watch narnia: prince caspian. it was nice. think its just as nice as the 1st instalment. the 4 kids have all grown up, esp the younger brother.both brothers are kinda eye-catching. HAHA! the show was kinda messy, or maybe its just me that was kinda blur. took me some time to figure out what was going on, cos i didnt know was that like the past/present or its happening concurrently or what. but kinda sad they cant be tgt in the end, maybe cos they're liek 1300 yrs apart. there were a few scenes which i liked a lot. one was which the narnians attacked during the night, but as they were retreating, some got left behind cos they were locked behind the gate. it was sooo sad man i teared. cos they're like sacrificing themselves cos theres nth anyone cld do cos the gate is alr down - FOR NARNIA

then the other part is the face off part when 2 armies were fighting over at the narnia territory. and they were all counting tgt for the correct timing to break the legs of the pillars tt support their home underground, so tt when the enemies run to tt part, the earth/land will start collapsing and they will fall into a pit. and when tt happens, they made 2 exits from the gound at each end of the collapsed land, and soldiers went out from there and surrounded the enemies who fell into the pit where the land collapsed, i think that was such a brilliant idea la. way cool.

haha i dno, bt i've always liked war shows. its like its feels good when everyone has a common goal, common cause, fighting for the same thing - esp when its fighting for survival. it really shows how strong we human beings are mentally. strong sense of loyalty. i feel proud of them. or even when playing for sch or nats. and somehow i find war scenes very you know erm majestic? is that the word? i dno, bt you gt wht i mean right, its like when they shout charge or smth, then both sides run towards each other, and on everyone's face it's do or die, with the sense of conviction. haha, oh wells, or maybe im just plain weird. but whatever.

went for family day rehearsal tdy. was freaking pissed at -. and i was alone cos josh and dan wasnt there. and - kept giving me stuff to do and recruited me into SWAT. saying what we're chosen and identified bt the tchers and all those crap when its plainly saikang. he thinks im super woman man. WTP. kept telling him to brief me first cos i gotta run cos i have church bt i needa go home change first cos i'll be going restless straight after, but he didnt want. FREAK! damn irritating man. ended up cabbing home and to church. argh!

watched 'facing the giants' for fellowship. its a damn nice movie. everyone shld just go buy it and watch. its abt how this coach uses the power of faith in the LORD which finally gets him the rubgy championships and kids! i think he has a very nice wife, who's always been so supportive, always being there for him, so sweet and understanding (: the power of faith and prayer really really works wonders. its just so unbelieveable. GOD is just so wonderful. this again reminds me of putting my faith in GOD and praising HIM no matter wht, be it good or bad. 'We win, we praise the LORD; we lose, we praise the LORD' and we shall glory HIS name in whtever we do.

went harbour front to meet win and barn for dinner. damn shouldnt have taken dinner. cos we ended up cabbing to sch for restless which starts at 730, and we reached only at 8 =x obviously no seats la, had to sit in the individual seats at the sides. guess who was the usher? oh my i was stunned, literally, i didnt know wht to do, so i just pretended i didnt see him. maybe cos his gd friend was there, so it'll prolly be the end of me if i open my mouth to say hi. bt omg he was damn handsome and suave (: my eyes so much didnt wanna gt off him man. LOL!

went vivo for supper with huihui, leanna, win, barn. we were searching so hard for some place to eat bt many of them close alr i dont know why its only like 10+ at most 11. ended up at BK. talked, gossiped, cam-whored AGAIN. oh man barn is so cute and win is so funny, seriously! haha. win's dad was so nice to fetch me and huihui home. thanks win's dad!

some friends are for life, others just didnt managed to board the train, or some just decided to drop off halfway.

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